Even Saints Miss the Mark Every Now and Then [Medication Free Pregnancy]

Having taken a really happy interlude yesterday, I am ready to finish telling you my story.

Two days ago I finished my post with this:

Little Secrets

I took a battery of tests, part of which I shared with you in the B-12 series, but one that I held back, that made my heart ache, was that my TSH went from 1.66 last year, to 3.6 this year. I felt betrayed, fooled, and disappointed.  I knew that the only way it could have gotten there was because of medication I was on.  I felt that the 3+ years of hard work were undone by this one stupid decision based on desperation, rather my regular common sense.

I was MAD–Elena MAD!  I vowed to dedicate all of my energy to bring TSH down quickly, especially because I already knew how to, and to never look back.

At that point I decided that for the rest of my life, no matter what it took, I would NEVER AGAIN go on a medication [unless I had to have a surgery, of course  ], having to pay for it with my health. Little did I know that the temptation would rear its ugly head much sooner than I thought.

[TO BE CONTINUED...]

Today is Part II of this story, and the conclusion to that post.

Part II: Temptations

Last Wednesday, the day after taking the home pregnancy test, I headed off to see my family doctor to make sure that I can be 100% happy.  Within minutes the nurse told me: “You are DEFINITELY pregnant!”  I squealed at the top of my lungs and patiently waited for the doctor to come in.  When he did, he sat down, quiet amazed at the outcome of B-12 treatment.  ”I did not expect or suspect it could have such a huge impact,” he said.  I told him about the improvement of my other symptoms, the biggest, of course, being the fact that I am now an expectant mother.

“Let’s do blood work,” he said, “just to make sure everything is ok.”  ”Sure thing, Doc!”  I really wanted to know if there was any improvement in the little deficiencies found in me our last appointment, and was especially interested in my TSH [thyroid marker] levels.

This past Monday, right after a momentary freak out in the morning over having a tiny drop of blood [implantation bleeding], having calmed relaxed my nerves, just as I was settling to enjoy the evening in the glow of my new pregnancy, I received a phone call from my doctor–he had test results.  Totally oblivious to any possibility of something not improving I was ready to hear them.  Everything, across the board, improved.  My hormone levels confirmed that I was 2-3 weeks pregnant at the time of the test, which was exactly 2.5 weeks in reality.  But there was one exception… my TSH number–having gone up after the meds for pituitary gland, did not budge.  ”WHAT?!  It could not be true!” I thought.

“So, what do you want to do?” my doc said.

“Nothing! I want to get better and I will do what I did before to get there.” I said and thought at the same time.

“Well, I don’t think you should do nothing,” he replied. “You could get away with it and so could your baby, but you could also be endangering you child’s brain development with high TSH.  We need it to be as close to 1.00 as possible. You need to go on medication as soon as possible–thyroxine.”

Thanks, doc!  That made me feel so GREAT as a new mother.  Really! Last year I was very close to 1.00, yet I made the biggest mistake by going on meds that were supposed to help me.  Now you are telling me that I need to pump more meds into my recovering body.

“What are my options, dosage amounts and side effects?” I queried.

“You need at least 75 mcg/day–that’s your only option, anything less would not be helpful, and there are no side effects to your or your child.”

“Really?” I thought; because the last time I checked no pharmaceutical medication comes without some side effect.

“So, what will it be?” he asked, and then a minute of silence followed.

If you ever want to see a person having an anxiety attack, tell me that I have to go on meds and watch.  I thought that the air was sucked out of the room.  A million thoughts ran through my mind.  I knew the possibility of not having a side effect from thyroxine was next to impossible.  I have been around hypothyroid stuff for way too long not to have heard horror stories, and received numerous e-mails from hypo-med sufferers, yet: “Not doing this might effect your baby’s brain development,” rang loudly in my ears.  God knows, now that I conceived I would do ANYTHING for my child, but this one thing scared me to wall-lake complexion.

“Go ahead and leave a prescription for me at the front desk, doc,” I said,” I have to think about this and will know for sure by the morning.”

“No need for prescription,” he replied. “I have free samples I will leave for you.”

G-R-E-A-T!  That’s all I needed. [sarcasm]

While I was on the phone my happy hubby got home and heard a part of the conversation.  When I hung up, I sat motionless, tears welling up in my eyes.  ”I am not a bad mother, babe, but I am just too scared to do this,” I told him.

“We have to do whatever it takes, dear,” was his kind and concerned reply.

Possible Side Effects

I could not wallow in my pity.  I turned around in my chair, turned the PC on, and Googled: Thyroxine Side Effects.  What I found, page after page, was less than comforting.

• chest pain (angina)
• awareness of your heart beat (heart palpitations)
• abnormal heart beats (arrhythmias)
• faster than normal heart beat (tachycardia)
• muscle cramps
• diarrhoea
• vomiting
• shaking, usually of the hands (tremor)
• restlessness
• excitability
• difficulty in sleeping (insomnia)
• headache
• flushing
• sweating
• fever
• intolerance to heat
• muscle weakness
• weight loss

No side effects?  Really? I think not.  By now angry, I twirled around in my office chair: “There is NO WAY on Earth I am going on this.  NO WAY! I am not going through this again!” And my hubby knew the look to think I meant anything otherwise. I just had been to hell and back with Biocriptin, and there was no way I was going to put myself or my child through another Hell Journey.

Calming Moments

“Let’s go for a drive.” He took me by my hand to pull me along. “We will go see if you can find something natural: Raisin Rack, Whole Foods–you name it and I will take you there.”

Having thrown on a shirt and a hat on [forget about the makeup!], we headed out.  I needed to clear my head and my emotions, and hubby knew what it took to do it.

We visited both stores and found some great alternatives, but most had “Do not take during pregnancy” warning on them.  Perfect! That was helpful. NOT! But taking a drive and talking was.

See, I have traveled this road before.  It was a lonely journey toward the unknown the first time around.  I had no support, no promises and did not know what or how long it would take for me to get well, but I knew that it was possible.  This time, having already been there and done it, I knew all the tricks of the trade–I knew what to do to get well fast.  I did not understand why a month before nothing changed, but I had no time to speculate either.  ”I can do this! I can!” I thought and said out loud. It feels right and I won’t ignore my gut feeling again.

The next day I spent on-line researching if there were pregnancy safe supplements I could take.  I seemed to have found one, but having called the company heard that they cannot suggest it during pregnancy.  I know they simply have to cover themselves, but it was so silly t think that natural things would be more dangerous for me than the likes of thyroxine.  So I made my plan.

The Plan

[see if the plant worked--read this follow up post]

While recovering from hypothyroidism I refused to demonize any plant foods.  Many web-sites and doctors say that cruciferous vegetables are not good for hypothyroid population.  I refused to believe it.  I ate them the entire time while healing and was just fine.  As of now, however, although still sticking to my guns, and I would tell anyone the same if anyone asked me, I am going to cut down their intake to no more than once a week.

I will also avoid any and all soy product, so no vegan cheese or mayo for me .

I am upping my sea vegetable intake, along with increasing maca root powder daily amount.

I am doubling up on the greens and going gluten free, as much as possible.  Although I know that I do not have gluten sensitivities, it is a fact that gluten can interfere with thyroid function.  As such I prefer to err on the side of caution, if I err at all.

I also had kept and Adrenal supplement, which is safe to take through pregnancy, so I will be using it for the next few weeks, and I am be continuing with B-12 injections and sublingual supplementation as well.

I am thinking about adding natural progesterone supplement, and will be soon talking to my ND about it. I know I might have to do it for only a short period of time, until my kiddo takes over .

I am also going to be 100% organic through the entire pregnancy.  Even before conception we were about 98-99% organic, but from now on it is all the way!

Living to Eat

I always said that we should EAT TO LIVE, not LIVE TO EAT.  In the last few days, however, since I am very watchful of everything I eat, I had felt that I live for meals.  I am sure that the feeling will change in time, but for me there are no “pleasure” meals–every meal that I eat now has a purpose to get me closer toward my goal.

Want to know what my meal plan looks like?

Meal Planner

Breakfast: Carrot+Apple juice with some of the supplements [I take a portion of the juice to mix with maca powder, and then was it down with remaining juice]

Snack: Green smoothie with a lot of greens, dulse flakes and some sort of seeds [flax, chia, hemp].

Lunch: Fresh salad [greens or veggies] with potatoes, soup, GF noodles or something of sorts with adrenal supplement.

Snack/Dinner: Another green smoothie and another juice serving, with iron and vitamin D supplement.

Doesn’t this sound like a lot of fun?! Especially for a bread lover. [sigh]  But I know why I am doing this, so I have a deep resolve not to look back.

I am planning to take a follow up lab in a month or so to track my TSH and then, if I need to, make any further decisions.

Not Making the Same Mistake Twice

The protective mother gene is well and alive in me.  I am resolute now more than ever not to make the same mistake twice.  I feel that my child is safer with what I am doing now, than s/he would be if I decided to go on a medication, against my gut feeling.  I would rather eat every meal on purpose, using common sense, and exercise my faith in God’s helping hand, than give my and my baby’s health away.

The agony of this decision making is over now, and I am at peace with where I am, even though this morning’s meal made me have a huge gag reflex [yeeck!], but my kid is worth it!

Secret’s Out

Well, now you know all there is to know about my health.  I am as transparent as it comes.  Nothing else that keep to myself .

Related posts:

1. Even Saints Miss the Mark Every Now and Then
2. Going Gluten Free and the Reason Why…
3. Chemical Free Laundry Options {Living Healthy}
4. SmartKlean Laundry Ball Review {Chemical Free Laundry} [CLOSED]
5. Organic Raw Chemical Free Skin Care {Natural Personal Care}