Even Saints Miss the Mark Every Now and Then

When I first began to blog over 3 years ago, I did so to help others.  At the time I was overcoming the battle with hypothyroidism, slowly reversing it naturally, having already reversed my husband’s coronary issues and improved my overall health.  I thought that if I could help at least one more soul to avoid the pain of what I went through I would have accomplished my purpose in life.  True, I could withhold certain truths from the public knowledge, or at least for a while, and no one would ever have to know.  But I also knew me–to be honest meant to be transparent, so I vowed to, one day, tell my readers the whole truth. [Remember the post: How Much is Too Much?]

And What Was the Truth?

At the same time of being diagnosed with hypothyroidism and being told that I would have to be pill popping for the rest of my life, I was diagnosed with a pituitary gland adenoma. For those of you who are now sure what it is, I will quickly add a description from one of the already existing on-line sources.

Pituitary adenomas are tumors that occur in the pituitary gland. They vary in size from person to person, and some can be undetectable, save the side effects/symptoms they bring with them.  The bigger the adenoma, the more dangerous it is.

Pituitary gland, or hypophysis, is an endocrine gland about the size of a pea and weighing 0.5 g (0.02 oz.), in humans. It is a protrusion off the bottom of the hypothalamus at the base of the brain, and rests in a small, bony cavity covered by a dural fold.  It is responsible for the production of certain hormones:

• Growth hormone Thyrotropins:
• Thyroid-stimulating hormone (TSH)
• Adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH
• Beta-endorphin
• Prolactin (PRL)
• Luteinizing hormone
• Follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH)
• Melanocyte–stimulating hormones

Symptoms and Side Effects

“Hormone secreting pituitary adenomas cause one of several forms of hyperpituitarism. The specifics depend on the type of hormone. Some tumors secrete more than one hormone, the most common combination being GH and prolactin.

In addition, a pituitary adenoma may present with visual field defects, classically bitemporal hemianopia. It arises from the compression of the optic nerve by the tumor. The specific area of the visual pathway at which compression by these tumours occurs is at the optic chiasma. Lateral expansion of a pituitary adenoma can also compress the abducens nerve, causing a lateral rectus palsy.

Also, a pituitary adenoma can cause symptoms of increased intracranial pressure.

Prolactinomas often start to give symptoms especially during pregnancy, when the hormone progesterone increases the tumor’s growth rate.

Headaches may be present.” [Source]

Don’t feel sorry for me yet, because I have a lot more to tell you. I am also not into pity parties, that’s why I have never told anyone about this, except my husband, doctors, and only a couple of people.  My family had NO IDEA!

My Quest

As I was sitting in the doctor’s office, four years ago, I heard him read my sentence: “You will always have hypothyroidism, and I am 100% sure you have a pituitary gland tumor, you just have to take an MRI to confirm it.  As such, you will always have to take medications for your hypothyroid condition and for you pituitary gland, to suppress prolactin production, especially if you ever want to get pregnant. If you don’t it will only get worse.”  And then, at a stroke of a pen, he wrote me two prescriptions, one for each problem, and send me on my way.

I am stubborn.  I don’t easily take a NO for an answer.  By then, we were already on a vegan diet, and I was just coming off the cursed birth control, and I knew that even most of the impossible things were possible. I told him that when I see him next time, he will know that I reversed these issues naturally.  I also refused to accept that I have an adenoma.  No, that is not living in denial at all–I heard his “facts” but I knew my truths: “With God all things are possible!”

So, I set out on a quest–a quest to get my health back.

Shortly after we moved to Washington [state], where I was introduced to green smoothies and a high raw lifestyle, by a raw vegan friend of mine.  You can read all about it here, and see that I, in fact, was able to reverse hypothyroidism naturally, by July of 2010 [last year] getting my TSH to a healthful 1.6.

At the same time I was searching high and low to see how I could reverse elevated prolactin production.  By 2009 I finally decided to take the MRI to see if I truly had an adenoma.  The MRI came back inconclusive–my gland did not look 100% normal [I was told it looked like it was not fully "homogeneous"], but they could not find an actual adenoma on it either.  I was happy, although doctors insist that I might still have a tiny one, and I could not evade the fact that my body was still producing prolactin and I experienced headaches, some days worse than others.  The prolactin levels, compared to many sufferers of pituitary adenomas, were not very high, hovering around 40′s and 50′s, but they were high enough to prevent a normal menses or a conception.

So my quest continued, and I still refused to take any medication.  Call me crazy, but I believed that my body could heal from it too.

I did go on a sublingual progesterone supplement [all natural], to help me achieve regular monthly menses, which in turn helped to alleviate headaches. [With elevated prolactin levels my body could not naturally produce enough progesterone.]

Even Saints Fall

The time was trickling away, and my biological clock was getting louder and louder.  My husband and I always wanted to have kids.  By the time of my diagnosis we had been married for nearly 5 years and knew it was TIME! Since both of us decided that natural way is the only way we wanted to conceive, we presented a united front in this fight.

This year, having moved back to Ohio in 2010, where I originally received my diagnosis, I felt like we were at a stand still and there might not be any solution for me to conceive naturally.  I was agonizing over what to do–my principles, and my heart were screaming to continue the fight, but another part of my heart, the one that wanted to hold a baby of my own, to be a mother, cried even louder, saying: “Shut up! Suck it up and do it!”  After all, my doctor, the same one who originally diagnosed me, and the same one who was floored to find out that I reversed hypothyroidism naturally, told me that I would have to go on prolactin supressing meds for only 2-6 months, just long enough to get pregnant and for my body to take over progesterone production[2 months into the pregnancy].

It was not an easy decision–over 3 years in making, but by February of this year [2011], I felt that I could not nutritionally address the remaining issue, I caved in… I decided that I would go on medication to get what I craved so much.  I could no longer bare to hear that another one of my friends/family members became pregnant and be OK with it.  I was happy for each one of them, but I was craving MY own pregnancy. [Don't cry for me yet , I shed enough tears for myself in the last few years.]  You don’t know the times, although I am sure that some of you do, that I cried out to God in tears, asking: “WHY? Why ME?”  I had so much I wanted to give, yet I couldn’t get that little one to give it to.  And you won’t believe the stupid things I heard from people in the process… that’s altogether for another post.

If I thought that making this decision was an agony, taking the first pill was like writing my own sentence.  ”This is what I have to do,” I thought.

The first week of medication was like hell on earth.  I had experienced every side effect imaginable.  I could not breath, could not function properly, yet I still had a job [as a fitness trainer, no less!] and I had a life to live.  If I were to show you what I looked like during the first few days you would not believe it [I did record a few videos for myself, so I would never do it again].

The doctor insisted that I should be feeling OK, although I was not, and keep up with the intake.  So, I, on my own, adjusted the way I took meds, to give my body a break… and waited for our miracle.  Five miserable, guilty consciousness, months later I was still waiting.  More friends and family members had babies or announced they were pregnant, while I was agonizing over my decision to go on medication. Yes, prolactin levels went down, but that was the only “benefit” of this whole ordeal.

I resolved that I would not be on medication for longer than 6 months, no matter the situation, unless I was pregnant and had to do it for the first 2 months of the pregnancy. I scheduled an appointment with my OBGYN to follow up and tell him: “Adios! We are done!”  I tried to reach him via phone to ask a question, but apparently medicine is not about patient care anymore, it is about feeling high and mighty, so his nurse told him that I would have to come to the office to ask any questions I had.  That was the LAST straw!

I told God that I am ready for anything else, another 8 years of waiting if I had to–being on medication was out of the question for me from that point on. I knew in my gut that I should have NEVER gone on meds… but even the strongest of us have our weaknesses–wanting a child of my own was mine.

Miracles Happen

No, not what you are thinking yet. However, it was around this time, on a fateful night mentioned in this post, I could not fall asleep, when I came across information on B-12 deficiency and its treatment, that my hope was reborn.

As I told you, I found a new doctor, who was willing to speak with me on the phone, fired my old one, and started a new page in my life–I wanted to address all of the minor symptoms that I still had, to see if they were somehow were tied into the obvious elephant in the room.

Little Secrets

I took a battery of tests, part of which I shared with you in the B-12 series, but one that I held back, that made my heart ache, was that my TSH went from 1.66 last year, to 3.6 this year. I felt betrayed, fooled, and disappointed.  I knew that the only way it could have gotten there was because of medication I was on.  I felt that the 3+ years of hard work were undone by this one stupid decision based on desperation, rather my regular common sense.

I was MAD–Elena MAD!  I vowed to dedicate all of my energy to bring TSH down quickly, especially because I already knew how to, and to never look back.

At that point I decided that for the rest of my life, no matter what it took, I would NEVER AGAIN go on a medication [unless I had to have a surgery, of course ], having to pay for it with my health. Little did I know that the temptation would rear its ugly head much sooner than I thought.

[TO BE CONTINUED...]

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